Mighty V. Mouse, 2019 – 2019

Mighty Victor Mouse died on October 15, 2019, or so, of natural causes.

Mighty Victor Mouse

Mighty, a native of Banff, Alberta, Canada, and the 3rd of 538 children of Maxine Mouse, never knew his father because Maxine was kind of a tramp. Despite this fatherless start to life, Mighty was determined to make something of himself and to see the world.

On October 5, 2019, or at some point close to that, Mighty tied his little handkerchief to a little stick, slung it over his shoulder, and set out for a life of freedom and freeloading.

Before long, Mighty found his way into an SUV of foreign origin and therein found an enormous stash of snacks free for the taking. Mighty rolled around on the snacks, gently nibbled the corner of every single one, and discovered the bliss of chocolate. For days he feasted on Grandma’s Soft Cookies, Keebler’s Fudge Stripes, and the motherlode, Starbucks brownies.

Overcoming doubt and really short legs, Mighty succeeded in moving from Alberta, Canada, to Charlotte, NC. This move required him to surmount two blizzards, countless miles in a smelly SUV, and one particularly harrowing experience involving a screaming woman and a mouse in a chocolate-induced frenzy.

Mighty’s time in North Carolina was limited, however. The allure of Bojangles’ biscuits proved his downfall.

Mighty Victor Mouse was buried very unceremoniously in a trash can at a car wash in Matthews, NC, along with a gnawed sombrero and countless snack wrappers. He leaves behind advocates Becky “Bleeding Heart” Hawke and Susan “Save the Mouse” Wainwright.

Memorials may be made to Kim Gossage and should take the form of car wash gift cards. Peace, Mighty.


3 thoughts on “Mighty V. Mouse, 2019 – 2019

  1. Some see his life as an inspiration; a young mouse who hazarded a journey through unknown lands, even daring to stowaway with one of the Bipedal Giants and steal sustenance. Others see a cautionary tale of the dangers of the Cocoa Bean, its addictive properties and its role as a gateway to the ultimate street drug – the Big Fluffy, the Buttery Wonder, the Heavenly Golden Brown Circle of Joy. Once you go down that trail, little mouse, you can’t go back.


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